structural solemn

With violent trembling, the earth cleft itself wide

A brother of mine stood bedraggled, unsound

As another, in a fit, fell ruptured in his side

His eyes were dim as he fell onto the ground

The rest of us stood in helpless awe

Beyond our ken, the tribulation we saw

And that we would soon encounter

Awkwardly poised, planted in a straight row

There was nowhere we could hide

Soothly, nowhere else that we could go

And at the first watch, another one of us died

As flames, menacing, rose up from within

Death, devouring another one of my kin

They said he was a tried structure

The humans descended thither, upon him

Brandishing a tonic from distant ocean

They examined him from limb to limb

And bestowed the uncanny potion

Some said it was an act of God

Or mayhap a melting fuel rod

But which? I searchingly wondered

What fate befalls the rest of us?

Mayhap to-morrow we shall see?

Nature struck with a wanion and thus

To-morrow’s end dwells in mystery

Might we have reached an impasse?

Would we gather a critical mass?

Thwarted by doubt and ambiguity

I await to-morrow’s portion

note: the writer disapproves.

Funny Story

Well here's a funny story. It is about a man who died. He was interrogated/questioned at our office about allegations of corruption. We're talking really big figures here; about $2500 (currency not available). That's about enough money to buy you a motorcycle, a wallet and a good pair of shoes. There are other, more corrupted people but we took a liking to this one. So, we even invited him to spend the night at the office. And I must say, the hospitality was simply to-die-for. Do take note that he was not physically harmed by anyone (else) in any way. After (some reports suggest during) the interrogation, he strangled himself... probably beat himself up to a pulp; rolled around in a puddle of blood for effect too. Then, he decided to commit suicide by jumping out the window. 'Tis definitely the most viable explanation available. And homicide, the second most viable explanation, was ruled out altogether on account of absurdity. How people can even come up with weird ideas such as homicide escapes me.


And he was conscious the whole time. We know this because the "ashtray" showed us that the arms of the "diseased" were broken which meant that he attempted to break his fall by means of extending his arms. Now, if he was unconscious during the fall, "boast" his arms and "boast" his legs would not have ANY injury at all. Though it is funny how his arm injuries were on his upper arms. More common injuries would be the Colles' fracture or even the Smith's fracture, involving the wrist and the radius in the forearm. So, this could mean one of two things: either he was really unconscious during the fall or he attempted to break his fall with his elbows. Oh we're definitely going with the latter because it seems to be the more logical hypothesis of the two. 


I mean, we managed to overrule the professional opinion of this doctor whatshername during a cross-examination. We decided that we weren't going to accept her expert evidence because we don't recognise her university (MU, not to be mistaken for the lower ranked UM), despite it being (then) one of the top 5 (currently ranked top 30 by QS Top Universities) universities in all of Asia. Funny thing though: if we made up our minds not to accept her qualifications, why did we bother about having the inquest at all? I mean, if you showed me the pictures of the deceased and the scene of death, I'd definitely definitely vote 80% suicide but no one ever cares to investigate my opinion. Maybe it's because I'm not qualified... or recognised for that matter. Funny we cared about her opinion. But here's an idea: I think the legal inquiry was held to show the world the high caliber that makes our lawyers. So what we did was that we picked the most recognised, most qualified, top dog lawyer from the squad and he questioned doctor whatshername in English like he owned the language. Made us so proud.


Oh and by the way (back to the dead man), 2 MONTHS after his death, we found a suicide note in the sling bag he carried. It was a VERY HUGE BAG WITH MANY POCKETS... but we somehow managed. Also, he concealed it very well. After all, why would he want people to read his suicide note, right? It is so sad... he was supposed to get married the next day. So perhaps we should list that down as one of the possible triggers, right? Bridegroom-to-be... suicide... very very typical, right? He left his fiancée albeit the fact that she was expecting their child. Such an irresponsible man, was he not? Ah well.. it truly is a no brainer. It was definitely suicide. No one should be held responsible for his death. I mean... I know he fell from our office...

but we're the government. 

Note: interrogation. nobody hurt him. he hurt himself. jumped out the window. fell from our building. broke his fall with his elbows. fall broke his elbows. wife-to-be expecting baby. suicide note found after 2 months of hard work. we conclude that it was suicide. got it.

So I thought...

"Nasi goreng tom yam satu" (I asked for a plate of fried rice, simply put)

"Okay" (Okay)

Then, pointing at what looked like a tray of mutton curry (I have a very unhealthy fondness for mutton), I asked the Malay woman a simple question.

"Ini daging kambing ke?" (Is this mutton?)
"Ya" (Yes)

She said that nodding simultaneously, as if to provide extra assurance... as if to acknowledge my conversational prowess... as if it was the normal thing to do; to say "yes" with a nod the size of yo' momma.  

So I asked to have a scoop of that as well. I paid 2.50SGD for the meal and sat myself down, thinking that that was by far the cheapest scoop of mutton curry I ever paid for. It was quite a large scoop as well, covering about two thirds of the plastic plate that looked like a banana leaf. 

I found one thing funny about the mutton curry: there was no smell. But I guess I did not care. My hunger got the better of me and I took a scoop of the "mutton curry" anyway and ate it....

It was unusually chewy... not in the meaty, muscly sense, but rather it was pulpous and marshmallow-y, if I may use such a term. Carefully dissecting one of the apparent mutton pieces, I stumbled upon its spongy, porous interior. It was then that it occurred to me... it was a piece of fried tofu. 

Well, I guess looks can be very be deceiving. The plate looked like a banana leaf, the tofu looked like mutton, and the lady looked like she could understand Malay. 

Singapore... in the words of CNBlue's Yong Hwa. "That is her charm." (Not the Malay lady. Singapore... )

pwned.

goodbye mr.sandman

my love i apologise deeply

my day has been too taxing

and hence i am simply

being thrifty in spending

the hours left over

after such a taxing day

my dear i am so sorry

my day has been too hassling

you see, the night so starry

indicates my day is ending

so i’ll be seeing you tomorrow

that is, if it is a more propitious day

my darling i am ever contrite

my day has been so tiring

i cannot humor you tonight

i have a schedule in the morning

so tomorrow’s no good either

so perhaps i’ll find another day

to listen to your questions

to which i have no answer

my sweetheart i bid you goodnight

my day has been so demanding

i would love to stay and chat

i would love to just do that but

my eyes are giving way

my mind is void of things to say

so i guess this is goodnight

so i gue.... z

More Than Friends

说真的，每天早上
shuo zhen de, mei tian zao shang
电话一响，我就起床

dian hua yi xiang, wo jiu qi chuang
听到你的声音，我会傻笑

ting dao ni de sheng yin, wo hui sha xiao
我很开心

wo hen kai xin
但是我不知道原因

dan shi wo bu zhi dao yuan yin

说真的，我很喜欢你

shuo zhen de, wo hen xi huan ni
当我想起你时
dang wo xiang qi ni shi
我的心跳会加速
wo de xin tiao hui jia su
但是你叫我宝贝的时候

dan shi ni jiao wo bao bei de she hou
我觉得尴尬

wo jue de gan ga


我知道我对你不公平
wo zhi dao wo dui ni bu gong ping
我没想过我们之间的关系
wo mei xiang guo wo men zhi jian de guan xi
已经太迟了
yi jing tai chi le
但现在
dan xian zai,
我怕接受你的爱
wo pa jie shou ni de ai


我知道我是傻瓜
wo zhi dao wo shi sha gua

我时常想太多

wo shi chang xiang tai duo

麻烦事在我们之间

ma fan shi zai wo men zhi jian

这是我无法阻至的

zhe shi wo wu fa zu zi de

我实在很乱

wo shi zai hen luan

当头炮，马来跳

dang tou pao, ma lai tiao
我阻止你的进步

wo zu zhi ni de jin bu
我希望你不讨厌我

wo xi wang ni bu tao yen wo
我避开你不是不爱你

wo bi kai ni bu shi bu ai ni
是我不要伤害你

shi wo bu yao shang hai ni


你的爱，给我太多
ni de ai, gei wo tai duo

我的爱，我不敢给

wo de ai, wo bu gan gei

我不知道怎样

wo bu zhi dao zen yang

跟你解释

gen ni jie shi
我不要骗你

wo bu yao pian ni


我对你不起。。。
wo dui ni bu qi...


note: and once again. 

Flowers or Chocolates

我最近研究了一件事情

wo zui jin yan jiu le yi jian shi qing
但是我还不会跟你说

dan shi wo hai bu hui gen ni shuo
太复杂的情话，太复杂的解释

tai fu zha de qing hua, tai fu zha de jie shi
我为什么爱你

wo wei shen me ai ni

牵着你的手，抱住你的恩典

qian zhe ni de shou, bao zhu ni de ern dian
我还不明白，不会解释

wo hai bu ming bai, bu hui jie shi
我对你的感觉有多深

wo dui ni de gan jue you duo shen
可能我很愚蠢

ke neng wo hen yu chun

我发觉我是一个很自私的人

wo fa jue wo shi yi ge hen zi si de ren
我常问自己

wo chang wen zi ji
什么是幸福，什么是爱

shen me shi xin fu, shen me shi ai

我忘了问你

wo wang le wen ni

你送我玫瑰花还有巧克力

ni song wo mei gui hua hai you qiao ke li
我不是不喜欢，但是

wo bu shi bu xi huan dan shi
玫瑰花很脆弱

mei gui hua hen cui ruo
巧克力不可以衡量爱

qiao ke li bu ke yi heng liang ai

所以虽然我觉得很开心

suo yi sui ran wo jue de hen kai xin
但我发觉到不是因为是花的美

dan wo fa jue dao bu shi yin wei shi hua de mei

或者是巧克力的甜味

huo zhe shi qiao ke li de tian wei
我继续问我自己为什么

wo ji xu wen wo zi ji wei shen me

过了那么久，终于找到了

guo le na me jiu, zhong yu zhao dao le
当我想起让我开心的事

dang wo xiang qi rang wo kai xin de shi
不是玫瑰花，不是巧克力

bu shi mei gui hua, bu shi qiao ke li

让我开心的，就是你

rang wo kai xin de, jiu shi ni

你是我的幸福，你是我的爱

ni shi wo de xin fu, ni shi wo de ai

所以我爱你 ^^

suo yi wo ai ni

^^ ai ni o

note: decided to try something different. it is simple, nothing special.  i wrote it. my friends helped with the characters.

verbosity factor

they say my posts are too wordy.

Fräulein-Träumer

between the waiting room and the stage

that is where it--

quick quick slow, repeat and turn

a dancer, born and bred

it was all too slow for you

a short pause, a bump in the shoulder,

a brief apology

just as nervous as you are

and even more so

a hitch in his breath confirms it

your shoulders collide

he rushed, fumbling

you choose to ignore it

worse has happened

but as he turns around

and his eyes meet yours; almost

another apology

no regrets now

you shake your head

as if to say it is okay

you stammer half the sentence--barely
and his eyes meet yours
this time for real; almost literally
and for the first time in your life, perhaps
you see it: honesty

your knees give way
he swoops down, gaze unswerving
your heart skips a beat; maybe two
your lips: parted, but speechless
they say nothing of the
chaos in your mind
they say--
they mumble meaninglessly

as your cheeks turn scarlet
you cognise but two things
time stopped
his eyes: they are brown

mooning, you find yourself
abstracted; perhaps even dazed
taken in without a struggle
you find yourself limp, fragile
captivated by the colour--
brown

note: read as if words keep slipping your mind as you are about to say them. the author leaves the interpretation of this one, vague as it may seem, to your discernment. however, just like the rest, there are clues within its body.

note: inspired by half a fanfic/story about two Kpop idols, written by the author's friend, Joan. this, on the other hand, is not about said idols.

I am not your mother. I won't tell you to apologise. You are old enough to know(We all pray and hope)

on my cbox:
4 Feb 10, 18:07
JonC: or person. so free ah?
4 Feb 10, 18:06
JonC: wow. ball-less people.
25 Jan 10, 20:07
Tommy.V: hey Mr.Han Jon you putting you life in risk by messing with my company associate... Mr Rambo. I bet you wouldn't like you love ones to be in risk too...
25 Jan 10, 06:36
Hj: woo rambo rambo rambo... don't use that name if u're not rambo T.T u mempersiasuikan John Rambo la.. he solo whole campsite, but u? u scolding here but
not face to face? SADISTTT
22 Jan 10, 02:14
Rambo: and for you Jonan go finger your asshole
22 Jan 10, 02:14
Rambo: go finger yourself *****
22 Jan 10, 01:39
Tommy.V: you have a problem Mr. LeeKaichi! am I talking to you... A s s clown
21 Jan 10, 01:55
Hj: HELLO JONAN :*
20 Jan 10, 02:11
k@ichi: litlle timmy v has a bubu? awww
20 Jan 10, 02:11
k@ichi: rambo.....hmm, nice name for someone who hasnt got the balls
20 Jan 10, 00:42
Amanda L.: > Tommy V and rambo: get lost and SHUT UP
18 Jan 10, 14:56
jwqe: Tommy V and rambo: crappy cowards
12 Jan 10, 02:50
Joshua: Wow...what's with this crap?
11 Jan 10, 01:33
rambo: **** you loser
11 Jan 10, 01:32
rambo: and suck it..
11 Jan 10, 01:32
rambo: shave your balls.
11 Jan 10, 01:32
rambo: I tell you what to do..you go get some shaving cream put some on your balls
11 Jan 10, 01:31
rambo: **** u man..you pathetic loser.
11 Jan 10, 01:13
Tommy.V: stop it already now! yo are no more in high school.. there is something wrong with your face you that and is funny like a clown!
11 Jan 10, 01:10
Tommy.V: you are the most biggest loser ever.Check your hair out!haha your sis have a nice A S S

on k@ichi's cbox:
Tommy.V: Micheal Corleone send his regards! remember to watch every step you and every move you make!
2010-01-21 4:42 PM

on Amanda L's cbox

22 Jan 10, 00:46

Tommy.V: My female dog looks like you.


From the Author's desk:

Firstly, I would like to say that you guys, tommy v and company associate rambo(I'll assume that there are two of you), are the cutest pair of anonymous cbox flamers that I've encountered so far. In my opinion, you guys are simply adorable. Yes, I said it. Adorable. Michael Corleone-The Godfather? I mean, whoever in their right minds (in this era) would use Michael Corleone's name to make threats? You! On kai chi's blog. That was so funny! You might as well say,"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house away" or some other cute line. You guys are such a delusional pair, it's quite tragic to see, actually; I almost choked laughing though. Wannabes like you guys must either be card-carrying members from the local Mafiawars club(tribute to the godfather) or simply devotees to this godfather religion that you probably made up. How much is the member's fee anyway? Are you guys recruiting? Also, tommy v, you tried to act cute with han jon with all your talk about him putting his loved ones at risk by messing with your company associate. Now that's taking 'cute' to the next level. You guys are good. I should pay you. You should do little birthday parties too. I mean with cool, intimidating gangster names like tommy v, rambo and lil rayray I bet you pose a major threat to society. Did you get them from the facebook gangster name generator? Like, "what is your GANGSTER name?" I have to say, you guys are the bomb.


Well, the fun's over. On a more serious note, it seems that you have begun to annoy a couple of my friends. You didn't annoy me, though. So I'm sorry your little plan didn't work out but here's some advice: if you want to annoy me, come at me through facebook(because I'm actually using it). Hit me with a pillow, maybe. But don't flame my dead blog. It's dead. Observe my last post. Friday, July 10, 2009. I could care more about the hardship that the cabbage I ate for lunch had to go through than about this dead blog. Or maybe you should come at me in person. Face me like the man you imagine urself to be and perhaps, and only perhaps, a tiny pair of trinkets, also called balls(my friend JonC so graciously pointed out your lack of such things) will displace the air or otherwise, vacuum that currently exists between your legs. With all due respect, tommy v and rambo, we expected more heroics rather than cowardice accompanied by delusions of heroics. You should come up with better. Also, you should apologise to my friends. I'm not your mother. I'm not gonna tell you what to do. I'm just saying you should. =)


On another note, let's be real here. We all know why you are doing this anonymously. You are afraid of confrontation(I'm talking about confrontation of any kind at all), which is sad. However, it is not unreasonable. I would imagine it to be quite hard for godfather devotees to fit into today's society. Also, judging from the recent traffic in my blog, I think you have been visiting my blog a lot to see if you got any replies. Your replies to my friends are always so prompt. There is no doubting it; I guess you are who you are, whether you are 2 people or simply 1 lonesome person with an imaginary company associate/company/friend;
you are the typical social outcast.


You know, it would be very, very embarrassing for you if your identity/identities was/were found out, and you know that very well. What does this go to prove? You are in a very bad position, are you not? It is so disadvantageous for you to come to my homeground anonymously and dirty it with your shit. See? I can write shit without it looking like ****. That puts you in an even more disadvantageous position, mainly because all you ever write on my cbox is *** **** and ****. And what does that add up to? You have managed to make yourselves look like idiots and you are not even in your own blog. You are in mine, which means that I can kick your arse and there's nothing you can do about it. tommy my boy, in attempting to spell 'ass', A S S is a very pathetic approach. Why can't you come up with something more intelligent? Perhaps, expand your vocabulary. There are many words in synonymity with the word ass; a lot of them are "legal". I'm sure your kindie teachers wouldn't mind if you asked them if you could stay back after morning kindie to practice words with them. In fact, I'll do you ONE favour. I'll hook you up with a friend of mine. He'll teach you how to talk to strangers, how to tackle girls... It will be so much fun!


But here's some more praise, I went on a half-a-year hiatus and although I did visit my blog once in awhile, I never came across so much action as this. tommy v and rambo, kudos to you for filling up my blog with so much life. Thank you for providing us with so much amusement. Especially with all the oh-so-promising death threats. However, like I said, you should apologise to my friends.


Don't go anywhere, please. In fact, stay. I would like to see how far this would go. I'm talking about, say.. 10-15 years down the road? I hope you continue to post insults on my cbox. I love it when people dedicate their entire lives to me, in any way at all. So, thank you both for your kind dedication. I will carry on with my life, and you, on the other hand, will place your life on the sacrificial pit for this sole purpose: to annoy me(which of course, will fail, time and again). So, please stay. Don't leave my blog. I need the traffic. Do drop a comment and click on my nuffnang ads while you are at it. I need the money.


Thanks and have a nice day =)

to the coward who flamed my sister's blog.

i came across this in my sister's blog.

9 Jul 09, 22:45
agirlandaboy.: * B I T C H
9 Jul 09, 22:44
agirlandaboy.: hey. u r a ***** la! same as ur fren!!! ur sis aso very ugly!! uhh!!

==============================

ah... the typical almost-anonymous cbox flamer. agirlandaboy, do take time to hear me out.

i still cannot believe you used the word "ugly". though you probably think it is a clever insult, don't you?

i know my sister well enough. she wouldn't retaliate. she'd refuse to stoop down to your level. in fact, she would simply ignore you. she wouldn't even bother to delete your cbox messages or the cbox, for it shall be testament to your unpolished self, for that is what you are... a low-browed coward who makes use of unintelligent and offensive words, for what purpose? to insult my sister?

oh but here's where realisation comes into play. do you really think that you are insulting my sister? do take time to ponder your actions... and your next words, though there should not be any. your actions have shamed no one but yourself. they also reflect upon your upbringing(not the nicest thing to say, but i pray you suck it up like the hero you imagine yourself to be). Joshua says he would like to teach you some manners. but that is clearly not his job, hence i will not let him. perhaps if you went home and consulted your parents, they would help you out.

next time you wish to say something, say it to her face. of course, it would still be as unintelligent(tho' we hope not), but at least you get points for bravery.

i hope you do not flame my blog after this. but, i am ready. though i'd usually "refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent" firstly, because i am a gentleman. secondly, because you wouldn't understand half the insults that i'd be throwing at you. perhaps for you i would make an exception. be warned.
misbehaviour will not be tolerated. not by me, at least.

however, we do understand that you have your reasons for anonymous flaming. having so many things to say but having such low self-esteem, i bet it brings you so much comfort that your identity remains unknown while you let all your thoughts flow. It is okay. we understand =) don't do it again, yea? thanks and have a nice day.

hikikomori: avpd

i try to find the words to say
but they seem all too far away
far away beyond my reach
inspiration none could teach
would you hearken if i spake
that mere words be all it would take
to melt your stubborn heart

i try to reach my arms to you
but dreams seem too good to be true
true enough they scatter as dust
life seems almost too unjust
would you reach me through the haze
would you meet me if i gazed
into your dreamy eyes

i try to say a word or two
but one or two seems all too few
too few to draw attention here
to reach the comfort of your ear
would you listen if i tried
to say the words i never could
but think of everyday

each night i dream of seeing you
and hope that you would see me too
but to no avail does dreaming go
because you will never know..
each morning sings a symphony
every moment mocking me
i sit forlorn and hum a long
a nightingale without a song

note: the poet rolls his eyes at this poem. he thinks it was written by someone else.